In keeping with the tradition of writing postcards from the holidays home to yourself, here’s a letter from your nearly-enlightened self in the year 2013.
In the last years I have learnt so much about myself that I feel the need to pass some of this knowledge on to you. Most of these things come down to “becoming conscious” and “empowering yourself”. Feel free to take the initiative to read up more about these topics. Of course there are a lot more things I’d like to tell you about, but your life is a journey and to start you simply need these basics first – plus, I SO want you to enjoy your teenage years. So don’t take everything too seriously: enjoy living in the present and having all this energy.
So, here it goes:
This too shall pass
I know your life seems to be a lot tougher than anybody else’s (and has been since you can remember) and there are times where you feel extremely alienated from everybody and everything. You work incredibly hard and put yourself under a lot of pressure. The following points will hopefully show you how to improve your situation. But even if it does not, rest assured that this will all be worth it! Without much moral or financial support you will achieve amazing things in life and meet some wonderful people along the way because you are indeed very strong and capable. We both know you like a challenge and thrive on them – just one step at a time.
Every duckling will turn into a swan
Feeling ugly, alienated and clumsy is perfectly normal for your age: blame the hormones. Don’t let anybody ever convince you that you’re not beautiful. True beauty comes from within and it will take a few years to fully realise that. Don’t worry too much about your outer appearance. The truth is most people are too occupied with their own and don’t even notice yours – and the people judging you on it aren’t worth to have in your life anyway! Nobody was born perfect and nobody will ever be perfect – but you will turn into the most beautiful swan ever, believe me.
Stop using make-up
I emphasise this especially because I want to make clear that you don’t need to hide behind a mask. And your skin will thank you for the rest of your life. There’s no need to wear make-up at all. But do keep your special version of eye-shadow though, that’s cool. Also, consider what it is you’re putting on your skin: mainly petrochemicals which destroy your skin/health and our planet. I’ve stopped using make-up on a daily basis quite a few years ago. If nothing else convinces you, it means you will save a lot of money and you will be able to sleep longer in the mornings.
Let go of negative things
Never hold a grudge for too long a time. I started with forgiving and letting go of everything negative that happened to me at the end of each year. Now I do regular “cleansing” sessions. I know you like making lists (that never changes, by the way): so, how about writing down everything that’s negative or dragging you down (people, private events, world events, school, work, sport, etc.) and then burning that list with some sort of ceremony in a safe location (maybe on the lake shore)? It doesn’t have to be a big deal but put all your heart in it and get yourself some sort of mantra (mantra: look that up, that’ll be important in your life!) or positive affirmation to say to yourself. You can’t go on carrying all your negative emotional baggage with you: it’s soul-destroying (and will take a long time to identify, get rid of and overcome later on)! I do know that there are certain things that you can’t overcome that easily. Don’t worry, you’ll meet the right people in the future who will help you with these issues and facilitate your work there. You don’t have to achieve everything at once, wouldn’t be much of a journey then.
Take note of what makes YOU happy and things you’re good at
Think positive! There are so many things you’re good at: don’t forget these – make a list every Sunday evening to get you through the following week (your dislike of Mondays won’t change much either, I’m afraid) and use it regularly. Keep it in your wallet and look at it at least once a day or whenever you feel a bit down or pessimistic. Also, closely observe what makes you happy (not what makes other people happy or what other people expect from you!) and then try and act on it, like doing these things once a week where you take time out of your hectic schedule especially for these things. This will feed you immensely: nurture your soul and give your body the chance to recharge your batteries. Over the years I have found that being in nature is medicine for me, so maybe use the woods and the lake right on your doorstep. A huge function of your happiness is your friends: keep them close and nurture these relationships, they will be most important to you!
Take a look around: there are a lot of people who are off a lot worse than you are – even in your own family! And the older you get the more aware you will be to this. The important thing here is to remember how fortunate you are, so you can avoid drowning in pity, feeling overwhelmed, or try and get involved in as many charities as possible (you can’t fix every problem in the world, even though I know you would like to – and yes, your first wish on every shooting star you see will still be world peace, you little idealistic hippie), but be grateful for what you have, what you are, most importantly what you can achieve. Tell yourself every night before falling asleep what you are grateful for: you’ll sleep a lot better and wake up in a good mood.
The woods and parks are right in front of you. Whenever you have the feeling you want to run away from something, just do it. Put your running shoes on and run – and you will see that anything negative or impossible to overcome will be left behind when you are running. Or make it a regular thing, like on the weekends or just when you have a spare hour or so. I used this method a lot (until now, where I don’t have the need for it much often anymore) and it helped my mental state immensely. Plus it will also benefit your stamina, which will benefit you a lot in the future. Showering straight away afterwards will wash away the last bits of negative energy. Your body and especially your skin will benefit hugely from this, too.
You’ve always done this, but try and do it more focus. Meditate regularly, like at the end of each day for half an hour. It will benefit your mental state immensely and keep you going for the rest of your life. Do it with music or with a mantra or silently somewhere in nature. It feeds you every time. Most importantly, don’t give up meditating because you think there’s not enough time or it’s not normal; there’s always enough time and who cares what’s normal – and in time you will find a lot of people who meditate in one way or another. It will hopefully also give you a break from all your worrying about everything in life: it’s hard to stop this habit (I still have trouble with it) but stepping back from it every now and then will do you good – and may encourage you to do it more often.
There may not be a yoga class around yet, but do read up on it. It’s fairly easy to start with it alone at home. You don’t need any equipment or experience, but I warn you, you won’t get good at it as quickly as you do with other things- mainly because it’s not about that at all! Ask your aunts and uncles, they have all been there (not that you’ll find out about it before your thirties). There is a huge spiritual background to it: it’s not another fitness activity, it’s a mental activity. I still find it hard but the spiritual aspect makes it a lot more accessible for me and I can tell you, it’s incredibly beneficial for your mental state. And it gives you your core-strength back which you will need for the rest of your life.
You were a master of this when you were younger! You’re slowly losing it now, maybe because of stress or trying to fit in with society. That’s a shame, really. Lucid dreaming is important for you, your consciousness and on a greater level, your environment (and their consciousness). You will learn a lot more about this in the future when you visit India (yes, you’re finally going to India, I thought I have to tell you this for some motivation), so don’t stress about the whole concept too much now. Just try and keep the lucid dreaming and don’t actively try to oppress it.
Forget about Mr Right for a few years and just enjoy the endorphin hit you get from kissing. Kissing is amazing and apparently it’s health-supportive, too. I know this goes hand in hand with self-confidence and overcoming control issues but you just have to try it – because believe me, you’re not going to start with it easily when you’re older and your expectations have risen into the unbelievable. So if you meet people you click with and like, forget for a minute about your friends’ or family’s opinion and just go with the flow (going with the flow is another thing that will become more important to you in the future).
Embrace being a woman!!!
Ok, it’s happened, you’re not a child anymore, and you will never be one again nor can you ignore all this change. Hormones are ruling you and you’re definitely turning into a woman, inside and out. This is not a bad thing, this is great! Women rule: they give life, the ultimate thing on this planet for our species. Women have power, old hidden power, which has been passed down for generations in the original matriarchies. And you are one of them: how fucking cool! Don’t ever let anybody put you down for this: you are a GODDESS, and girls and women should be told so more often. And yes, I know, you don’t feel like it now but that is also because you’re trying too hard to oppose the change. Come to terms with it and realise how wonderful it is, what a great opportunity: you’re becoming yourself – some people you meet in the future and some workshops you’ll do will empower you more on this topic but you need to know now that you are a woman and need to embrace this in order to succeed on your path. And don’ t hide, you have two great sources of woman-ness right on your doorstep, namely your aunts: they’re feminists like you and can pass on vast amount of knowledge about womanhood and goddess-ness to you – use your resources and most of all, love yourself for what you are!
A lot of the things I have told you in the points above may not make much sense now. I do agree that it’s difficult to bring certain things across in a few sentences. So, here are a few books I’d encourage you to read. A lot of the things will seem strangely familiar to you: this is because deep within yourself you know them, they have been passed on for generations, you just need to unlock them – don’t be afraid of this!
a) The Secret by Rhondy Byrnes
It’s all about positive thinking and being careful about what you think and feel. What you emit to the universe, you will get back. As soon as I read this book I could immediately see how true this has been in my life.
b) Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
This will help you to understand the role of the woman and its history. It will empower you and can guide you on your path as a woman.
c) Irresistible Persuasion by Geoff Burch
Don’t lose your goals out of sight. Prepare for discussions. Become self-confident. Later on you can use it in work and your career but for now it will also help you through your teenage life.
d) The Healing Code by Alexander Lloyd and Ben Johnson
Modern medicine seems to have stopped working for you recently. This book can explain why. And it shows you how to be healthy anyway, mentally and physically. You know that these things are connected: here you learn a method how to use this knowledge – it changed my life!
e) The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
You know this. Nature and us, we’re connected, we’re one. Close to the Buddhist “all is one” which you will encounter in the future. This book shows you a few unknown aspects but most of all confirms that you’re not a freak with believing and feeling what you do.
Cocquine, don’t think now I’m just trying to lecture you here, please. You’re doing amazingly well on your path and there are so many good things and behaviours and character traits in you that there’s not enough space here to list them, believe me. You might not see it now but the more people you meet later on in your life and the more you tell them about yourself and your life so far, you’ll get always positive feedback: you are a great person, Jack, just believe in it yourself and it will come from within automatically – a phrase you gonna hear a lot in the future: You rock!!!
Very early on you will notice that you love passing on your knowledge, helping others in fulfilling their potential or becoming conscious or just offering a kind hand. Continue with this and tell other people about the things you’ve learnt, either from my letter or from other people around you. When you pass this energy on, it will multiply and get you and other people to consciousness – it will also help you to find your tribe: because they are out there, the people who tick just like you, your true family, your tribe… Until then love yourself and you will be loved.
Peace, love and enlightenment from the person who loves you most and unconditionally and always will!